Category Archives: Life

You cannot give what you don’t have

Life

It is a fundamental truth that you cannot give what you don’t have. When you think of this, most people think in terms of money, but this also applies to many other areas of life. Sure, money is money and if you want to give to a good cause, unless you have the money you can’t help.

This concept also applies to other very important areas of your life. Your compassion, your tenacity, your joy, your peace, your patience, your positive outlook, your calming spirit and the list could go on for pages. In short, if you don’t have these attributes in supply in your own life, it is terribly difficult to share them with others. If you are not at peace it is hard to share peace. If your compassion is depleted, it is hard to show it to someone else, etc.

The good news is that most of these attributes are decision based. That’s correct, they come from you deciding to have them. In the roller-coaster 2020 year, it is easy to have misplaced these attributes and if you leave them on the sidelines long enough, it becomes very difficult to get them back. It is like allowing a feeling of melancholy to find residence in your spirit. The more you embrace it and allow it to continue, the more difficult it is to get rid of.

Think with me outside the vernacular for a moment. See, Satan goes around with his clip board to see who he can get to buy what he is selling. His focus is the sadness and despair of the heart. If he gets you to accept discouragement, much like melancholy, he just keeps pilling on, anxiety, loneliness, sadness and all their brothers and sisters. If you allow this to continue, before you know it, you don’t want to get out of the bed.

As a friend of mine in Texas has always said. You got to cowboy up and take your life back. KT

Leading

Career, Life

If you are leading people and you turn around and no one is following, you’re just going for a walk.

People need to be inspired to follow. Sometimes they can be forced, but more times than not, they need someone they believe in and can trust. People watch a leader and whether it is a good thing or a bad thing, they do what the leader does. They emulate the leader. If he/she comes in late every day, guess what, the people will come in late every day. If the leader says one thing but doers another, people notice. If the leader says don’t do this or that and turns around and does this or that, he/she can’t be disappointed when the people they are trying to lead do what he/she does.

Think of people you respect and may even want to pattern your life after. The thing all of them probably have in common is the don’t just talk a good game, they lead by example. Leading by example is probably the most impactful way to influence other people. Make no mistake, the greatest leaders have influence. It is a gift that is very valuable and there have been many people that had great influence and then squandered it through bad choices. Once you lose it, it is almost impossible to get it back.

Andy Stanley talks about the story we will tell of our life. To hear him say it, we all will have a story to tell our grand children about our lives and it is good is there are not parts we must leave out because of bad decisions. We all know Hollywood actors, athletes, politicians and even religious leaders that had great influence and could have accomplished great things but made bad choices that cost them their influence. After that they are most known by their mistakes and not the message.

Choose well and if you are a leader and have some influence, be careful to protect it, shield it and insulate it from harm because it is a gift. KT

Distractions

Career, Family, Life

Distractions can often be well,,,,, distractions to your daily plan. They can come in many forms from small children to teenage children, phone calls, unwanted emails, your spouse doing something, noises, neighbors, package delivery and the list could go on and on.

Someone said to me recently, “there are so many distractions now but one day, I won’t have distractions and will wish I had them back.” What a profound statement for a young person to say. This person realized that while distractions are maybe a little irritating now, they are also the gift of life around them today. It lets them know they are alive.

There will come a time when there are limited or no distractions. It is called old age. No more deliveries, no one needing your opinion, the house is quiet, the phone isn’t ringing and there is no one wanting your time. When you are young and the distractions surround you, just be thankful (as hard as it may be) that you have them. KT

When the days run together

Life

Depending on where you live and what you do for a living, the last six months have been anything but routine and ordinary. For some it has challenged their livelihood and increased anxiety, stress and concern for the future. For the past six months I feel like I have been auditioning for a part in a play but haven’t gotten any parts. Ha.

This morning in Georgia it was cool and began to feel like the beginning of fall. I drove to the office with the windows down and wondered if this day was going to be just another ordinary routine day. As soon as I had that thought, I stopped/ paused and had one of those moments that you will remember years from now.

I realized in that moment (and felt some shame) of how many people wished they could have an ordinary routine day. I thought of friends I have lost to cancer and heart issues recently. I thought of friends and family I almost lost recently, and I thought of people dealing with the health of a child or themselves. These people would love to have just an ordinary routine and probably boring day. See, they can’t because they are carrying a lot of burdens and worry.

I had a moment of reflection, appreciation and thanksgiving for being able to have a regular (possibly boring) routine day. Maybe this COVID situation has caused you stress in areas of your life and if so, while every situation is different, be thankful for the good fortune of a routine ordinary day. KT

Repairing or Preparing

Career, Family, Life

Most people spent today either repairing the mistakes they made yesterday or preparing for what they will do tomorrow. The problem is they forget about what needs doing today. Today is a gift and its powerful because yesterday is a memory and tomorrow may not come. When you get down to it in life, today, is really all we have. Right now, is really all we have because we don’t even know for sure we will even be alive tonight.

I have these cards that I write my things-to-do list on and I have been using these cards since 1990. I order them along with a yearly planner pad that covers each week of the year. At home in my office I have 30 years of these planner pads and I could tell you with with some level of certainly where I was and possibly what I was doing on any give day since 1990.

On the daily cards, I write out all the things I want to do that day and then go back and number them in priority of importance. Many days I barely get half of the things accomplished and then move the unfinished items over to the next day. I really try to manage myself to stay on track and do what is the most important first and not just what is easiest to check off.

It is human nature to subconsciously want to save the harder things till tomorrow and do the easier things today. It takes real resolve to tackle the hard things today instead of putting them off till another day.

Today is a gift and tomorrow while hoped for, is not promised. Any leadership book you read will speak about the importance of today and being your best today and using your time today in the most efficient manner. Whatever you do (work, play, family) do it with all you have. Listen to your children and focus on their little faces while they talk to you. Let them know you are listening. When your spouse talks, listen and let them know you understand. When you work, do it so everyone around you respects you and when you go home at night, turn that cell phone off and be there in that moment even if it is just hanging out with your family. When the good lord calls you home, trust me when I tell you, it will be the moments with your family you will remember last. It won’t be that client dinner or that work proposal. No, it will be those moments when you are one on one with your child reading them a bedtime story or watching a movie with your spouse.

Use today for what it was meant for. Being there. KT