National coffee day

Today is national coffee day and I thought I would share a few points regarding coffee and where it should be located in the grocery store.

First, if it comes in a can, it shouldn’t be located on the coffee aisle in the grocery store. It should be located in the cosmetics section.

Secondly, if the name on the front has two large DD’s, it should be located in the flavoring aisle at the grocery store where you can get bouillon cubes or broth.

If it is Folgers, trust me, the best part of waking up is NOT going to be in your cup.

If it is instant freeze dried (Sanka), just drink some milk. It will taste better and last longer.

If you think about the commercial (Maxwell House) with the popping sound “pop-pop-pa-pop pop,” if you hear this sound in the morning, just roll over and go on back to sleep.

If the coffee advertising has a picture of Juan Valdez growing the coffee in Columbia, the reason they are trying to sell you the coffee is because no one in Mexico wants it either.

If you are in Sam’s, just because the coffee is cheap and you get a dump truck full, don’t do it.

In the coffee aisle, there is a lot of want-to-be-coffees with fancy looking bags that makes you think of drinking a hot cup of coffee nestled in front of the fireplace. This is just advertising because if you buy it, instead of feeling nestled in front of the fireplace, you will feel like you are in your underwear on back porch. Ha

So in summary, have you ever taken a shower with your socks on or kissed your own brother or sister? Exactly, it just doesn’t do anything for you or make you want it again.

Therefore the only coffee brand left is, drum roll please,,,,, Starbucks. That’s real coffee! It will put hair on your chest and give you a hitch in your giddy-up. KT

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