This is always danger in letting success go to your head or worse, letting failure go to your heart.

Success is a great thing and can change and or improve many areas of your life. However, it is important to always “keep a lid” on it. We all know and have met people who want everyone around them to know all the details about everything they are doing and have accomplished and how great they are. There are also many people that want to replay for you, the conversation about some success they had. In general, this turns people off.

There is a level of class and elegance in keeping certain things to yourself. Success is certainly one of those areas you don’t want to talk about it to just anyone. Share it with those closest to you but remain humble. A braggart is probably the least liked type of person.

As important as it is to not let success go to your head it is more important to not let failure go to your heart. The heart is the keeper of all things important. The bible says that “out of the heart, the mouth speaks.” It also says that “out of the heart flows the issues of life.”

Failure can be devastating if you let it find a resting place in your heart. It will dissolve your boldness, take away your resolve and possibly cripple your hope. It could change the course of your life in a way God never intended.

Everyone fails. That’s right, everyone you have every known or read about has had to deal with failure from time to time. It is how you deal with it that defines if it holds you back or strengthens your resolve for the future. Let failure have its perfect place which is to teach and instruct but stop it there. Learn from failure but don’t let it lead you. Learn to forgive yourself. Self-forgiveness could be one of the most important aspects of your life you could ever learn.

Self-esteem is like an egg. It is fragile whether we want to admit it or not. Every time you do something good it is like you add a layer of lacquer to the egg and every time you do something you know you shouldn’t, it is like you remove a layer. If you add enough layers to the egg (your self-esteem) it is not as fragile and can handle changes better. If it is fragile, a little failure could derail your self-esteem.

Learn to forgive in life. Keep your successes to yourself and when you do fail (and you will) be careful to not let that failure lodge in your heart. KT

Some people will overspend to fit in or be accepted. The issue at the heart is self-esteem. They believe if they do this or do that, buy this or buy that, they will be accepted into the group. What they really want is the self-esteem they believe they will find once they buy it, lease it or own it.

These types of things will either drive you to do something you shouldn’t do, or it will define you. I remember May 1990 like it was yesterday. There was one hotel broker that will remain unnamed that played one of the biggest roles in my life. I love him for it. See, everyone I sold hotels with were into custom suits and stylish shoes with the right shirt, tie all the way down to the socks.

My suits and sport coats were either sale items or second hand. I came into the office one day and the broker I am remembering, laughed at how I was dressed. I remember the look on his face and the amusement in his laugh as he looked over my sport coat. My decision that day was either, do I go out and overspend to fit in, or do I just go out and outsell him? Well, I decided in that moment, that I would never care again what someone else thought about how i dressed, where i lived or what i drove. The only thing I cared about was making money for my family so that my children would have nice clothes and not ever be laughed at.

There are moments that will define you. They don’t have to be big life changing moments. It’s usually the little moments that make us who we really are. That was one of my moments that put in perspective what it was I really wanted and who I really wanted to be.

When you are tempted to overspend or over obligate so they will accept you, think again. There will always be people who want to make other people feel small so that they can feel big. My advice is to just file it away for a later day and manage your own money in a way that you are comfortable with, while not caring what someone else might think. As you get older you will be more proud of those decisions that you ever would be if you try to be like them. There is only one of you and will never be another. Rely on the fact that God made you like you are for a purpose. KT

Aren’t we glad that past failures don’t mean future failures? That thing you tried to do, and it failed, doesn’t mean that the next thing you try will also fail. It is very difficult to extract yourself from the memories of past failures but if you let them, they will either define your future or be just the educational thing you need to succeed the next time.

Years ago, I was in a very successful person’s office for a meeting and on the way to his office there was a long hallway covered with pictures of companies the person had either started or invested in. When I ask about all the pictures, I was told that it was the wall of shame. I said, “wall of fame or wall of shame?” the person laughed and said it was all the failed investments he had made. There must have been 50 pictures of companies on that wall. He told me that he keeps them there to remind himself that just because you might be good at one thing, doesn’t mean you will be good everything.

He went to tell me that past failures can be very helpful to future opportunities because you have a PhD on what not to do again. I thought that was so insightful because he viewed his past failures as the education he needed for future opportunities.

It’s easy to look at a past failure and allow it to consume you to the point that it hinders you from ever trying again. If you allow that mentality, you could very well miss the future opportunities that God puts in front of you. If you have past failures, remember them but don’t let them control your life. Instead put them in your life’s educational file which will allow you to remember them for what they taught you instead of defining your future. KT