Category Archives: Life

Talking to yourself

Life

I had to laugh at myself this morning. I was standing in front of the mirror talking to myself and saying what I should have said the other day to this person I had a little conflict with. I stopped myself and then told myself how silly this was and then told myself I wasn’t going to do that again. About 10 minutes later when my mind was drifting, I realized I was doing the same thing again. Ha

You probably never do this. Right? The funny part is that in front of the mirror you always say the perfect words in the perfect tone with the perfect facial expression and it always has the perfect result. Game over. You win. The other funny thing is that while you are working up to it and thinking about what the other person did or said and why, your mind comes up with how they planned this whole thing out so perfectly to hurt you.

Now, if we were honest with ourselves (since we are talking to ourselves,) we know that real life doesn’t happen this way. You know what I think? I think that strife is the most used tool in Satan’s arsenal and it is the one tool that we fall subject the easiest. It is also the one tool that robs us of our joy the quickest. Lastly it is the one tool that can turn a good day into a bad day without you even recognizing it is happening. Envy, strife and jealousy are Satan’s stock and trade to get us sidelined in life and to steel our peace and joy.

The bible even says in James 3:16 “where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.” This is where Satan wants us to spend our time because he knows that envy, jealousy and strife eat at our soul and steels from us the peace that passes all understanding.

So like the Nike commercial, when you find yourself unconsciously talking to yourself about something someone did or said, just say no. Just tell Satan “No” I will not let you do this. You will be amazed at how much better you feel when you shut out envy, strife and jealousy from your daily life. KT

What do you do when you have done all you can do?

Career, Family, Life

This is a serious subject so I will start with a silly example. I am too fat and I know I need to lose the weight. Therefore I know I have not done all I can do because it remains visible every morning in the mirror. ha. My point is there are some things and situations where we cannot say we have done all we can do but there are also other situations where you have done all you can do. The question is what do you do when you have done all you can do?

The list is long but several situations that come to mind. You have done all you can in your marriage, you have done all you can to change your husband. You have done all you can medically. You have done all you can to help your child. You have done all you can to get rid of anger, jealousy, strife, resentment yet it is still a part of you. You have done all you can to fix a relationship. You have done all you can to improve your job situation etc etc. Again, this list could go for several more pages.

The bible says that once you have done all you can do to stand, stand therefore. Pretty simple right? When you have done all you can, that is all you can do. If I was writing that passage of scripture I will add at the end, stand therefore in him. What I mean is to stand in his grace, his plan, his forgiveness, his favor, his anointing, his wisdom and his understanding. When you have done all you can, do what the bible says and just stand therefore and rest in knowing God is in charge.

As equally with answering this question I think you also have to answer the question, what I do not need to you when I have done all I can. That answer is to give up. You don’t give up and you don’t go out and make some foolish decisions just because you can. You stay firm and stand firm. I am not advocating that a spouse should never leave a marriage. There are some situations that you cannot fix. What I am mainly talking about is the restlessness that comes during the period between doing all you can do and seeing the results.

So when you have done all you can do, I say, stand up (literally and metaphorically) and poke your chest out and say, By God I am here and I am not going anywhere. KT

Going to Mama’s house

Family, Life

Tomorrow we are driving to Virginia to see my mom and dad. What a gift.

It seems like yesterday when they were the age I am now and our children were young like our grandchildren are now. A lot of living has happened in these past 25 years and I am sure there were times when my parents wanted me to hurry up and get older. Being parents with small children is a fantastic and great season of life but it is also stressful juggling all the challenges of being young working parents.

What my point? It is that life moves so quickly that you look up one day and 10 years have passed and you struggle remembering where it went. The second point is that my mother and dad are still alive and in good health and at 57 years old, I still get to go to my parent’s house and hug their necks and tell them I love them. The third point is I know there will be a fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy dinner there somewhere. Ha.

Be present and focus on the moments of your life and capture and preserve the precious memories because one day, the memories will be all you have left. KT

Treating each other like you want to be treated

Career, Life

I am dealing with a situation with a friend and business colleague that has stumped me. This person will not call me back and if he does, it is after I leave 4-5 messages. This is not a situation where I am trying to sell him something. We are actually engaged together in a project. Ha.

At first blush most people would just stop calling and consider the relationship over. I am choosing to use this as a teaching and learning project. When someone will not call you back it is usually due to one of two reasons. (1) They don’t respect you, or (2) they think they are too important to be bothered. You cannot make someone respect you so I want to deal with the second reason. Sometimes people get to the point in life where they think they are important enough, smart enough, and successful enough that they shouldn’t follow some basic common courtesies. This is what I want to talk about. I call it the “Bob” factor.

When I started selling hotels, the very first person I called on was Bob who owned a little Days Inn hotel in McDonough Georgia. Bob is a smart guy and clearly knew I didn’t know what I was talking about and I didn’t even have a business card. He could have brushed me aside. He didn’t. He took a half hour and talked with me as though I knew what I was doing and showed an unwarranted amount of kindness and respect to me. That meeting with him made a deep impression on me and one that I have never forgotten. Even to this day, I try as best I can to call everyone back regardless of what they are selling and it is because I want to show them the same kindness Bob showed me that day.

I believe people will reap what they sow. there is a verse in the bible that speaks to this very subject. If you are disrespectful and ugly to someone today there is a good chance you won’t reap that back today. That said, I believe there will be a day when you will grasp this concept because that will be the day you are treated like you treated others.

Status, money, lifestyle and health can change and it can change quickly. Today you may say, I don’t need to be kind or show respect because I am above it, but there will be a day when you will look back and long for someone to show you respect and be kind.

A smart guy once told me, never put something in writing that you would be ashamed to read aloud in court. Pretty good advice. I would add that you should never treat others in such a way that you would be ashamed to have it exposed in public. Sow (treat others) like you want to be treated because as silly as it may sound, the crop you sow is the crop you will reap. When you look at your “field” of life and what you have sown, you will one day find yourself standing on the back porch of life watching that crop you sowed come to harvest in your life. KT

Righteous indignation

Life

It is ok to get mad every now and then. People think you should not have these emotions if you are a Christian. Remember what Jesus did when he saw the money changers in the temple? He turned their tables and chairs over and threw them out of the temple.

Sometimes you just need to let people know where you stand. In this I would caution you to also be careful because once you let words out of your mouth, you can never take them back. If you do get angry, be in control and do not allow yourself to say things that you will later regret saying.

I just had a little moment today with our venue where we are having our company’s holiday work party. I called and emailed for 4 days and got nothing. So my call this morning went something like “ok, this is my last call. If you don’t want our business just don’t call back. If you do want our business then pick up the phone and call me.” See, I was nice enough, right? I didn’t say any bad words or spit in the phone, rather it was just a matter of fact statement. Guess what? The lady called me back within 3 minutes. Keep in mind I have been trying to reach them since last Thursday. So I ask myself, why is it that some people have to push you to anger before they respond?

My father in-law Max Phillips used to say something that has always resonated with me. He said when God saved your soul and made you a Christian, he did not make you a doormat for people to walk on. That’s pretty simple isn’t it? It is also very true. I believe it is ok to stand up and be counted and to let other people know you deserve their respect.

So in short, be strong, always be full of grace and be bold in everything you do. KT