I recently forgave someone for events that happened a long time ago. I really didn’t even know I was still holding on to it until I met with that person. All the memories came like a flood taking me back to a very difficult time in my life. I had to wrestle it down in my spirit and say “no, I will not allow it any longer.”

Forgiveness is one of the most powerful and liberating actions you will ever take. See, I said the word “action” because forgiveness is a choice of action. The only one that can make the choice is you. These things do not correct themselves, rather they just get harder to move on from and release.

Contrary to popular advice, books and opinions, you do not have to talk to the person to forgive them. You don’t have to tell them the whole story, the whys, the wheres, blah blah blah. Forgiveness is a private thing between you and God and no one else. In fact, talking to the person can many times make it worse than before you opened your mouth. Forgiveness is about you and not about them. Let me say that again, forgiveness is about you and not about them. It robs your peace and joy and those things affect only you.

In my situation, I did not even realize that deep inside I still felt the way I felt. There have been many times in my life when I easily forgave and sometimes when it was a little harder, but I make a habit to forgive quickly and often. This one was a lot deeper because it took place when I was vulnerable, afraid and needed to be loved.

Have you ever had a conversation/argument in your mind with a person? Did you win the argument and always say the most impressive things? It’s funny how when you are talking to yourself, you can always win the arguments and really put that person in their place. Ha. It doesn’t work that way in real life.

If you wake up and have an argument with yourself and another person not present more than several times a week, you might want to think about forgiving that person.

The lesson here is that sometimes you have to guard your heart and be very vigilant to forgive and move on. Move on before it affects your life and your family’s life. KT

I am not big into goal setting in the business and economical sense. Over in the personal areas, I think identifying where you want to go and what you want to be is a good thing and probably necessary in certain cases.

I think goal setting can also get out of control, and it can be the catalyst to making wrong decisions. Goal setting comes from our inherent desire to know what the future holds and then try to make it come true, but unfortunately we can’t see what even next week holds, much less the future.

Years ago, I used to set goals in business and work toward this or that as the goal. In 1995, I decided I would not go through the goal setting process of trying to identify and then possibly limit that year to what I thought was possible. It was the last year I ever set a business goal because that year I just decided to let God put me in the places I was supposed to be. It was a very good year for selling hotels.

Don’t get me wrong, everyone is different, and what drives me is different from what drives you. I believe everyone has to pick a path that works for them.

I do believe in goal setting for things like weight loss, cycling, running etc. When you start on a diet, it is obviously very important to know what the goal is you are trying to achieve. I think there are four very important characteristics of a successful goal.

(1)    It must be realistic

(2)    It must be achievable

(3)    It must be definable

(4)    It must be measurable

So just saying I want to be happy, wealthy, and wise is not setting a goal because it is impossible to measure that kind of a broad statement.

Twenty something years ago, I read a book by Zig Ziglar called “See you at the Top.” In the book, he stated how far he ran, his physical condition, and how much he weighed. Well, he was actually none of those things and in fact was out of shape and very overweight. So, he calculated the days and weeks until his book would be published and then calculated a measurable plan on how to weigh what his book said he weighed. Basically, it came down to him loosing 3 ounces (I think) a day and just a little over 1 pound a week. One pound is obviously 16 ounces and his goal was to lose 3 ounces a day.

As you can expect from Zig Ziglar, the day the book published he did in fact weigh what his book said he weighed, and he was in fact in the best physical shape of his career. Now, writing a book that will be published for the world to see is maybe a little too extreme way of setting a goal. Ha.

So in summary, if goal setting is helping you, then by all means it’s a good thing and keep doing it. If it is not working for you, then find a different way to stay motivated. It’s all good either way. KT

This morning I was in a hurry (like I always am) getting everything done before I left for work, such as getting the dogs settled, etc. I passed through the laundry room and stopped because hanging on the rack was one of my little granddaughter’s dresses.

It was a little purple dress with flowers and was made of that swishy material she likes to wear. It was hanging there, and it was so pretty. I stopped what I was doing and just took a moment to thank God for our little granddaughters and the joy and purpose they have added to our life.

When our first granddaughter, Rowan, was born, I blubbered up when I first saw her and held her. I was thinking before she was born that the protectiveness I felt for my two daughters would be different from the grandchildren. Well, I was wrong. The same level of pure, unconditional love and protectiveness washed over me that moment in the delivery room, and I knew instantly that I would give my life for that little girl.

I think God gives men of a certain age grandchildren because it is a gift that you didn’t even know you needed. It’s a life moment that will forever change who you are; in that moment, you realize the beauty of life, health, children, grandchildren, love and peace. It literally washes over you so fast that it takes your breath.

I believe when you get to the later ice cream seasons of life, the only two things that will matter is the relationship you have with God and the relationship you have with your family. You will not be thinking “I wished I had worked a little harder,” “I wish I bought another house,” etc. No, when it’s just you and your maker and your time is short, none of the material things will matter. What will matter are the little dresses and the simple moments in life. KT

While I was writing another post, I referenced the term “spell check,” and I remembered something that happened to me that still makes me laugh.

I was in the Navy Reserves and the Marine Reserves at the same time. I remember being at a meeting of the whole Navy unit and our Navy Captain (full Bird) needed to process an instructional order for the whole unit and notify headquarters in writing of the decision. He reported to a Rear Admiral in DC.

He asks me to draft the written order and the cover letter to headquarters…back then we had typewriters and no spell check. I had to re-type the order and cover letter probably three times before I got it in executable form.

I presented the documents to my Captain. He read it in full detail and said it was fine, and he executed the official documents under his signature.

I made him a copy for his files and placed the original with the courier to transport the documents to his boss, the Rear Admiral.

The simple letters “E” and “A” have never become as important to me as they did on that day.

After reviewing the documents, later I realized I had my full bird Capitan execute an official order using his title as “Captain of Navel Reserves” get it? Navel as in belly button versus Naval as in Navy. Ha

Well, as you can guess, later that day my Captain realized what had happened and also realized that the documents had left the station and there was no getting them back.

I cannot even spell most of names he called me that day, but what I can tell you is that while he was calling me those names, it was literally all I could do not to lay on the floor and laugh out loud. Imagine the Rear Admiral of the Navy opening a letter address from the Captain of the Navel Reserves.

Still makes me laugh. KT

The other day I was driving to Pensacola for a meeting, and I realized I was driving the car with my knee, drinking Starbucks in one hand, looking at the navigation system, talking on the cell phone, starting a podcast and answering an email…all at the same time. I really need some therapy.

When I started selling hotels, I had a car to drive and an AT&T calling card. That was it. We didn’t have cell phones, and the internet was still years away. The term email wasn’t even a word.  The first couple of years I sold hotels, we were using carbon paper so we could have a copy. Most of you don’t even know what carbon paper is, right? We didn’t have spell check and were using Wite-Out on a typewriter if you made a mistake. If the mistake was big enough, you had to retype the whole page. When I look at an old library book, I can’t begin to image how they ever got all the words in the right order and published the books with no typographical errors.

When I traveled and had to call someone, I would find a gas station, get out of the car with my calling card, dial 1400 numbers before being connected, and then have a conversation with the person I was calling. I would then get back in the car and start driving and if you can just imagine, I would actually look out the windshield at where I was going. Can you believe that?

Back then, drinking a cup of coffee while driving was considered multi tasking. Ha.

So, here is the question: has all the technology made our life better or worse? My grandfather Thompson was a farmer outside of Campbell, Missouri, and they did not even have a phone, much less a TV. And you know what, they were happy, at peace, and lived a long life with many good memories of their children and grandchildren.

So, I think technology has its place in our life, and the challenge is to keep it in its place and not let it lead your life. When your child comes up to you and raises their arms for you hold them, technology has no place in that moment. When your older children ask for your advice, technology should be the last thing on your mind.

So, like many inventions, keep it in order, keep it in its place, and keep it out of the important moments. KT