True charisma is not defined as some flashy person with a big smile. True charisma is all in the eyes that beam with intellect, confidence, honesty, and someone who you trust.

I have been to many hotel investors conferences and I love to watch people. The guys with the tight suit that bulges when buttoned, pants that hit about ankle height, pointy toed shoes, big smile and about a pound of hair gel are not the ones you want to zero in on. When you meet the real leaders, you will see that light in their eyes and that quiet confidence that lets you know someone is home.

Confidence is the core to charisma. True charisma is infectious and engaging and I want to address that. Life is full of momentum changes just like a ballgame. When confidence is low you just need to keep going until it returns. It never returns all the time, so it is important to cherish those swings.

A really simple, yet important prayer is, “lord, I need to find my way again. I lay my life in your hands for where you want me and what you want me to do. I ask these things in faith and receive them even before I end this prayer. Thank you, Lord,” When you end that prayer, just make the decision in your heart that you have God on your side and that will give you a renewed confidence toward your future. He tells us in his word, “come to me and I will not turn you away” Merry Christmas. KT

Ever met anyone who has it all in life but still can’t find rest, joy, and peace? They have the life they always wanted but are still is in a constant state of unrest and anxiety.

This may sound like a quick bible fix but when I was in the Navy/Marine Corp they used to say something that was probably a lot like what God would tell you. Of course, God would say it a lot nicer and gentler. Ha. The drill sergeant in the Marine Corp would tell you, “shape up recruit and get off you’re a_ _ “or the chief Petty officer in the navy would tell you to, “suck it up, seaman.” See, I know these things because I was in both. I enlisted in the Navy in the medical field and what my recruiter didn’t tell me was that I would have to serve in the Navy and the Marine Corp which I did for five years.

I think if we could ask God, he would tell us to get over it and make the decision to be restful and in joy and peace. You see, it really is a decision that we alone must make, and we know this because in the example above, clearly the things in life haven’t helped that person. God would always be gentle, but he would tell you to get on with it, get on with your life, quit feeling sorry for yourself, quit running a race to be somewhere you can’t even explain, and look around you and see God’s goodness already in your life. KT

Teddy Roosevelt once said, if you are ever asked if you can do something, just say yes and then go figure out how to do it. Clearly this is not for all life decisions and clearly it is more on the professional/work/job side. Example if someone comes to you and asked if you can rob a bank, you probably shouldn’t say “yes I can.” If your boss asked if you know how to do something, then take Teddy’s advice and say yes.

Years ago, I was serving as a deacon in a Baptist church, and they wanted to nominate a secretary to take the minutes/notes. No one wanted that job especially me. This one guy raised his hand and said he would do it. He took notes and we completed that meeting, and everyone went home. The next deacon meeting stated with this guy reading the minutes from the last meeting. He had it typed out and in such organized detail it was amazing.

I have thought about that in relations to work/clients/jobs and realize that the person that says yes and then goes on to perform the role in a professional manner will become a valuable person to the organization. When promotions are handed out, my guess is that will be the person that gets the job. Bosses love being able to have a go to person in any organization for the unusual project or help with an existing one. So, in the words of teddy Roosevelt, just say yes and then go figure out how to do it. KT

We watched a Hallmark Christmas movie last night that stirred something inside me. The movie is new, and it was about this middle-aged father/husband who was still searching for significance in his life, family, and career. I know this might sound a little hokey, but stay with me.

He was frustrated with the path his life had taken and couldn’t seem to find his path forward. He met a Santa Clause (I know,,, eye roll) and told the Santa that he wished he would have made a different decision 20 years ago because if he had, he would have everything he wanted today. Santa asks, “are you sure you want this?” the guy says, “absolutely” and the Santa said ok.

He wakes up from a dream and he has everything he wanted. Great house, great business, money, prestige, fame etc. He was so happy until he started trying to find his family. The Santa appears and the guys ask Santa where his family was, and the Santa tells him he made that different decision and therefore didn’t have his family. He went on to tell the guy he had until Christmas Eve to find the meaning and change back to his life as he knew it. You know how it ends.

The point is this. Many times, we don’t want what we already have until we don’t have it anymore. We don’t know what hangs in the balance of every decision we make and the path that decision puts us on. It is nice to watch a little holiday movie that reminds us of what we really want and what is really important in our lives. KT

PS the movie is called -A kiss before Christmas. The main actor is James Denton.

I was speaking with a friend recently about this subject about which was the greatest contributing factor to who we ultimately become as adults. I told him that I had a biological father and stepfather. My biological father was the DNA, but it was my stepfather that was the influence in my life. I went to say that in my opinion that it was the influencer that molds who we become, not the DNA donor.

 I told him who my father was and the kind of man he was and that I never wanted to be like him. Yes, I had his DNA, but I have a far greater example of what a real father was in my stepfather. I had a decision to make in my teens, did I want to be like my father or my stepfather. I chose my stepfather. Additionally, I had the example and influence of my father in-law that also played a role in who I became. I told my friend that it was the better influences (stepfather and father in-law) that I chose to emulate. Acts of my father several years before his death, proved that I had made the right choice in not following his lead.

So, I tell you today with some strong conviction that it is the people you associate with and the ones that you let influence your life that have the far greater impact on who you become. I heard a speaker some years ago say that the person we will all be in five years is largely based on the books we read and the people we associate with. Life is never that simple and pure, but I believe the speaker was correct to a point. Be careful who you let into your heart and who you let influence your life. It could be one of the most profound decisions you will ever make. KT