When you have lost your way, sometimes it is scary finding your way back to the right path. Most vehicles today have onboard navigation to help you find the best way to where you are going, but in life, it is a little more difficult. The GPS will redirect you, but in life, you may need to go back to where you missed the turn.  The following story is a metaphor for what I am talking about.

Back in 2003 we bought a lake house on Lake Lanier north of Atlanta. We closed in February of that year, and I had the dock people coming to install a new boat lift in early March. They needed the boat there at the dock to make sure it was installed correctly. It was cold and raining that morning, so I put the boat in the water at a marina about a mile away and was going to drive the boat over to the house and tie it up for the dock folks.

I knew it wasn’t far from the Marina, but I had never seen the house from the water but felt sure I knew how to get there. 15 min later I am in the big channel of Lake Lanier and didn’t recognize anything or even where I am. I took out the lake map and was trying to find the land line markers but couldn’t see anything. It was a miserable feeling to really have no idea where to go.

Finally, after about 10 min of debate with myself, I decided the best course was to simply go back the way I came and hopefully I would see the house. Well, I missed it again on the way back but finally found the dock and tied the boat up.

Sometimes in life when we get lost, we just need to go back the way we came until we can see where we made the wrong turn. If you are honest with yourself, you will recognize when you get to the place you missed the turn.  KT

In hotel brokerage there are a few times when a seller offers their broker (me) a fee before you find the buyer.  This is always strange and unexpected, but I learned a long time ago to listen up when this happens.

Years ago, I was selling a 17-property hotel portfolio in the Midwest, and we were out there doing showings with a buyer. The seller asked to meet with us after the buyer left and he said something that I will never forget. He offers us (the brokers) a fee which was less than the fee we would have earned if the portfolio sold. I looked at him and ask why. He said because I don’t think you will be able to sell the whole portfolio. If I knew then what I know now, I would have responded very differently.

I thanked him for the offer but told him we were convinced we will sell the portfolio. Two things – (1) He was satisfying his conscience and (2) he was really telling us he had decided not to sell. I missed both points very poorly. What I should have said was “ok,” we will accept. He would then have been morally obligated to pay us the fee and we would have salvaged something out of the deal. When I turned down the offer, I inadvertently let him have a clear conscience by telling himself he had tried. Weeks later after several more trips to all 17 hotels which was a three day trip each time and countless hours of work, he tells us he has decided to just hold the hotels. He kept his hotels and we got nothing.

Something similar happened a few years ago and I missed it again when I should have read the meaning and just accepted. More recently I was selling a hotel in New Orleans and out of the blue, the seller calls me and asks that question. By this time, I had learned my lesson and I told the seller I would accept. This took him back because he wasn’t expecting me to accept but we will be paid almost as much as if we had sold the hotel.

The point is, people rarely ever come right out and tell you their real intentions. In the first story, if the seller had just said, “guys I have decided not to sell the hotels,” we would have accepted the offer and moved on. Instead, he made us the offer to clear his conscience and was no doubt glad I didn’t accept.

In life and business, listen to not just the words spoken but listen to the meaning behind them. KT

In sales and in many areas of life, you never want to show/ display everything all at once. You always want to hold a little something back.

In business it is the tendency to want to tell the customer everything all up front. The problem with this strategy is that until the customer tells you about his wants and needs, you don’t know what is important to him. The objective is to display enough so he knows you know what you are talking about, but not enough for them to think you don’t need his business.

The magic in business starts when you find some common ground (family, friends, locations) with the customer and start building a rapport. It is only then that the customer starts trusting you and communicates where he is really at and what he really wants. If you just spray it all out in the first five minutes, he thinks you are either arrogant or not interested in what he has.

Its like when you are on a first date, you don’t tell the other person everything about you all at once. Same philosophy in business. You need a little communication and connection first or everything you are displaying doesn’t impress the client. Wait till they ask a question because that lets you know they are interested. KT

Many people choose a point in time (event) when they will start to relax, start enjoying life and be happy. This is Satan’s quiet and gentle recipe that he feeds us. See, when you are happy and full of joy, it is hard for him to manipulate your thoughts. He thrives on, loneliness, depression, anxiety, loss, low self-esteem. When you are upbeat and holding your head high, he losses.

Several events that people quietly peg as their happy points are; promotion at work, when the kids reach x age, when the car is paid off, when I get in shape, when I save x amount of money, when I graduate, when we get that house, have that lifestyle, have those friends, live in that neighborhood, when I retire, and the list could go on for pages.

The problem with planning happiness around future events is, they may come and then they may never come. You turn around late in life and realize you kept putting off happiness and now it is too late. Go home tonight and turn your phone off and have a family dinner together or go surprise your loved ones by dropping in. lead the conversations and really listen and watch their faces and eyes as they talk. Bank those moments into your hard drive. Tell them you love them with all your heart and really look them in the eyes when you say it. Kiss them even though they may think they are too old for it.

Your life is not your work. Work is not what will define you nor will your success make up for not being there with those you love. Set aside those desires to do this, change that, go there, be that, because whether you know it or not, every time you let yourself go there in your mind, you are pushing off happiness and joy for a future date. KT

In business, there is always people you need to meet with, presentations to make, sales pitches you need prepare, closings you need to consummate and ideas you need to show. In short, there are always other people you need to impress, sway, or convince. This may sound like this is only for owners, salespeople, managers etc. but its not. It is also for employees, teachers, firemen, cashiers, military etc. Basically, anyone who needs to communicate something. As we all know, it is not always the way you say it or present it, it is how it is received by the other party.

When we prepare for a meeting of any kind, we start with what we will say and how we will say it. This can be in verbal conversation or in presentation form. We have all the points we want to make, and we plan it down to the last word.

What we don’t usually do is practice reverse imagery. What I mean is to switch hats with the person you are going to meet with. Put yourself in that person’s shoes and then listen to what you plan to say through their eyes. When we do this, it often changes what we plan to say. See there are thing s that may be important to you that just may not be important to the other person. Try to get inside their head before you get to the meeting or the call and visualize what their need is. If you can determine what their need is, it will better prepare you to present yourself in the best possible way.

I have a friend who owns a hotel management company, and he was asked at the last minute to make a presentation for a large account. His competitor put eight people on a private jet and prepared a full one-hour presentation. My friend didn’t do that. He didn’t take a team and didn’t do a fancy presentation. He determined by imagining in reverse what the owner was looking for and it wasn’t someone slick and fancy. He was looking for someone he could trust. To hear my friend tell the story, “It was just me and Tahoe.” He went alone and instead of doing all the talking, he listened. He heard their problems and then he showed them how he could solve them. He got the job over the other group all because he chose to put himself in the owner’s shoes before the meeting and focus on what was important to him.

If we practiced reverse imagery in other areas of our life we would be impressed on how much easier life, jobs, marriage, parenting etc. would become. KT