Category Archives: Life

If you could hit pause

Life

If you could hit pause and stay in one period of time in your life, when would you choose?

Would that be in high school, college, right after you graduated, when you first got married, when your children were small, when you got your first job, in your early 20’s, late 20’s, 40’s, when your children graduated from college, when they got married, when they left home, when you became an empty nester, when you first retired, etc. Got the idea?

There is a period when we all were or are the happiest. If we could go back to that time period and stay in that period, when would that be for you?

I guess the real question is how you get your life to the point that you would choose now versus sometime in the past. How do you get your joy back? How do you become all that you want to be today? I am convinced it is not about money, jobs, titles, houses or status. It is really much simpler than that. It is about when you were the happiest and had the most peace in your life. When you could laugh out loud, feel, cry, and enjoy little moments and when you and your family were full of hope, love and joy.

That’s it. You would choose when you were at the most peace, had the most joy and filled with the most hope for the future.

How do you get it back?

Obviously we cannot go back and we only have today and the future. I believe in God’s perfect will, he would want us to choose today. He would want us to be full of joy, peace and hope today. So the question is how we become “today” people instead of “yesterday” people. Well, I believe it begins with beginning and I think beginning starts with a real direct conversation with God. He wants to hear your pain, heartache, problems and hear what your hope for the future is. Side note here, I have never seen God look at his watch while I am talking to him. Ok, back to the blog. At some point we all have to choose a path. The path that will take us forward or the path that will keep us looking behind. Everyone has different issues that need to be overcome and different dreams that need to be restored. We all have trust issues and keep our hearts covered with a veil so we won’t get hurt.

If there is ever a time to sit down in a quiet place, turn off the phone, and deal with your life, I believe it is now. If not today, when? Do you want to be in the same place 5 years from now? If your answer is no, then take a few hours by yourself and get out a writing pad and while praying and talking to God, write down your dreams and desires, hurts, fears, and past and also write down what you hear from God. Write it down because I am telling by experience that God will give you what to write down and it will be direct from the almighty. I can also tell you by experience, that what you write down on that day will become so very precious to you for many years.

For me, my period of pause would be now. I know it is going to change because life is like that but if I could stay in any period of my life, it would now. KT

One more day

Career, Family, Life

Life can change so quickly. Don’t wait to do what you know you need to do. Every single one of us knows in our heart what changes we need to make in our lives. There are no gray areas, no questions and everyone knows what to do. We just sometimes don’t want to do it.

I have attended many funerals for people far too young to have passed away. I suspect that with many of them, they woke up that morning and did not know it was their last morning. The bible says to not put off till tomorrow what you can do today. That is very sound advice for family, health, business and life in general. It doesn’t mean you have to accomplish the full thing, it just means you have to start. It is the starting where I believe God gives us a special grace and a special anointing for that moment because he knows it is the most fragile period. The starting point is the hardest part.

I believe each person who is at the one yard line of life, if they have their mental faculties, want one more day. If they were given that one more day, they would tell everyone in their life that they love them, they would do the best they could to fix a strained relationship. They would do the most important things for their family so there would be no question, they were loved.

There are some things I can change in my life and some I can’t. For instance, I am ugly and I stutter, but there is nothing I can do about those things. It is how God saw me in his eye before I was conceived in my mother’s womb. He knew a thousand years ago exactly what I would look like and be like and talk like and the precise time era I would live in. On grave stones there is a beginning date and an ending date and usually there is a dash between the dates. God knows the length of the dash and he knows exactly when we will be called home. Yes, called home. That is what heaven is, our ultimate home and he knows exactly when each of us will open the front door to that home.

Don’t put off doing what you know you need to do. In fact, do it or start it before you go to bed tonight and ask God almighty to give you the strength and will power to see the decision through. We all have fears and anxiety and all hide things behind the veil so other people can’t see it but we know what needs to be done.

Face the fear of the thing you are most afraid of and I believe you find out that it is simply a shadow. Psalms 23 says; that we shouldn’t have fear when we walk through the valley of the shadow of death. Let me say that again. The valley of the shadow of death. Have you ever seen your shadow? It is much larger that you actually are. It looks scary because it is so large. That is what God is talking about in Psalm 23. He says to not let the size of the shadow scare you into thinking it is so big. The thing you probably fear the most, when you face it head on, is probably not that big after all. KT

Milestones and moments

Family, Life

In life there are many more moments than milestones. There are only so many milestones in a person’s life. Examples would be graduations, marriage, children births, certain anniversaries, promotions, retirement etc. Examples of moments are what happened today and yesterday and last week. It’s the hug of a grandchild, the uplifting word from a friend, the peace of sleeping well, a good book in front of the fireplace, a spouse that kisses you each morning before work, a child that tells you they love you, the success of an accomplishment, and the joy of a job well done. These could go on for page after page.

What I am saying here is that to many people, quality is more important than quantity. Ask your child if they would rather have a fancy vacation once a year with you or have you pray with them each night as you tuck them into bed. I will tell you that quantity of time together is far more important than an every now and then quality time. Life is in the simple moments when there is no video camera rolling in background. It is setting on the side of your child’s bed and making sure they know you love them. It’s the holding them when their heart is hurt over some boy or girl they liked at school. It is doing the right thing in front of them so they can see who you really are.

In my experience, the teaching does not end when the children leave home. In fact the teaching and good examples are even more important after they have been exposed to living around other people.

Don’t let your life become centered around a destination. Let it be a joy journey. Don’t just decide you will be happy when this event or that milestone is reached. If you do, when you are older you will look back over the years with regret. You will see that you put your joy milestones ahead of special moments. When you pass away and your life on earth is over, the most meaningful things your children will remember will be the simple moments when they felt safe and secure in your love. KT

80-10-10

Career, Life

In every organization, group, business or church there is an 80-10-10 rule. It simply says that 10% of the people are leaders and visionaries for the group, 80% are maintainers and then the final 10% are inhibitors.

Let’s take them by title. The 10% leaders, they are the ones who set the example, serve on committees, share ideas and believe in the future growth of the organization. The 80% are very important because they make up the bulk of the organization and they also believe in the growth of the organization and will serve where asked. They are faithful to the future of the group. The only difference between the leaders and the maintainers, are the maintainers don’t want a leadership role but will put their support behind the ideas and future of the organization.

This brings me to the inhibitors. They are in every company and every organization and they are easy to spot. They are easy to spot because they never agree with any change or any idea and are usually the ones that talk behind behind everyone’s back. They look good, smell good but they basically have “stinking thinking.” The sooner they can be identified and marginalized the better for the organization. They will always be there and will always be involved but it is critical to the organization that they not be in leadership roles. They are the ones that gossip, talk down the organization and they try to carry as many people with them as they can. They are the ones that you see whispering their brand of thinking to anyone that will listen.

Like everything in life you need to decide what category you are in. If you are an inhibitor, you simple need to move to a company or organization where you can have a positive impact and feel that you are a part of something good instead of tearing down the company you are with. This is not scriptural, but I think when God sees us gossip and when he sees his children acting in such a non-Christian manner, it particularly hurts his feelings.

We all want to be where we are wanted and respected and where we feel we are a part of what is going on. My advice is to find a place where you can be in the 90% that celebrate the organization doing well. KT

Juggling balls

Family, Life

You have heard the term, “I am juggling a lot of balls.” The person means that they have a lot going on in their life and have “a lot of balls in the air.”

I met with a client DJ Rama this week for lunch and he said something about this subject that I thought was very insightful and so very true. The balls we usually juggle are centered around business, family, religion and health. He said to me that some of the balls are rubber and some are glass. I stopped and looked at him when I understood the very simple, yet very true meaning.

We assume all the balls are rubber and if dropped they will bounce back. This is not true. Business and religon are rubber balls and if you drop them, you just pick them up and start again. The family and health balls are made of glass. Once they drop, they break and can never be picked back up.

This is a very good image of our lives that we need to listen to and hear. All the “balls” you are juggling in your life are not the same. We often think that tomorrow will be just like today and next week will be just like this week. People think their children and their spouse will always be there and if you messed up this week you will always have next week. That ball is glass and if you drop and break it, you may never get it back.

When people pass away they always leave behind plans of what they were going to do that day or next week or next year. When they leave this earth, all the plans end. That ball is glass and once it drops and breaks, you never get it back.

My client’s point was very direct. Make sure you know which of the balls are the important ones and which of the balls are not. Don’t drop the glass ones because they will not bounce back. Happy Easter. KT