Category Archives: Family

Cinderella Man

Family, Life

The movie “Cinderella Man” is one of the most meaningful movies of all time. It came out in 2005, and it is about a professional boxer named James Braddock in the early 1930s during the Great Depression. James was a husband and father of three little children; they were in the middle of the depression with no work, no money, and no hope.

The movie is tough to watch because if you have ever been broke and without hope, this movie touches your heart. James Braddock was almost too old to box, but if his family was going to survive, boxing was his only way out.

The main point of the movie was what had driven James Braddock to win. It was because of his wife and children; they were his motivation. Glory, honor and fame were not. He went on to win the heavyweight title when no one believed he could, and he saved his family from financial disaster.

I have discussed the word “motivation” many times with people, and I believe deeply that if you know the “why” you can figure out the “how.” When we were broke and dealing with the restaurants in the early ’90s, it was a tough time in our lives. I have been asked many times what motivated me to sell hotels. The answer is real simple. It was my wife who believed in me and the faces of my little girls when I would come home. No other motivation was needed because those three people were the “why” and selling hotels was the “how.”

In my case, it was clearly and solely the hand of God that brought us through that period of our lives.

Whether you are a man or a women, married or single, watch the movie because it will warm your heart and make you believe again in the simple reasons parents do the things we have to do. KT

A Father’s Love

Family

A father’s love can be discussed in both the natural, and also in the spiritual. The spiritual part is easy to discuss because God loves us without any conditions and with a love that is so pure the Bible cannot even explain its true intensity. It is perfect in every way.

In the here and now is where it is difficult. I personally believe a child can forgive his/her father of all types of shortcomings except for love. You could have a scoundrel for a daddy, but if he loved you, there is the ability to move past his actions. A child needs to know that their father loves them. That simple. If you are reading this blog post, I hope that you have great memories of your father and great moments that will stand the test of time.

I have seen many adults that cannot seem to move on in life because they are trying to achieve something they will never accomplish. Having their father’s love. In my life, I have had a lot of great examples to follow as well as some bad ones. Everyone gets to choose the paths of their life, and what they want to be remembered for. I have some family members that will be remembered for good and then others that will be remembered for bad.

I can tell you that when my children were born, I knew exactly what I wanted for their life and the kind of father I wanted to be. I had many examples in my family as well as outside my family to know which I wanted to emulate. My daughters would know without question that I loved them and would die for them. They would know there was no holding back, no mystery, no reservations, and no questions. I choose to give my daughters an upright, transparent, and pure father’s love.

Many people struggle later in life because they either cannot forgive or they cannot forget their childhood. If you had a bad example of a father, literally the only way forward is to forgive him. Yes, actually say the words out loud by yourself, “I forgive you.” Then, take an inventory of all you are blessed with and made a decision. That’s correct, make a decision. Make the decision that the bonds of your past childhood will no longer tear at your heart and that you choose to literally walk away from your past; choose to walk into the life you want for your children. So many times people emulate what they see in their parents and that causes another generation to be no better that the last. Choose to be the generation of change for your family.

It is a funny thing, but the Bible says that love never fails. You know what? It is true. When you act in love, even though you may not want to, you will never have to look over your shoulder at something you said or did in the past. Acting in love is one of the most heart-healing things you can do.

So in summary, your childhood does not define you unless you want it to. You get to choose to make your children’s childhood great, and you get to choose to break the generational patterns in your family. KT

But by the grace of God, that could be me

Career, Family, Life

Have you ever seen people that are arrogant and puffed up to the point that they mistreat someone who is less fortunate?

I have always had this thing deep in my spirit that tells me to never, never look down or treat someone less fortunate in a way that would be unbecoming. There are people we come in contact with that are in need or have suffered disabilities, struggling financially, or heartbroken, and they simply need someone to look at them with understanding.

I guess I am really talking about elitism and an attitude that makes the person ugly inside.

One of the greatest examples of how to look upon and treat the misfortunate was Franklin Roosevelt, who served three terms as President of the United States during the Great Depression and World War II. He was not a perfect man regarding his marriage and personal life, but he did many things that he will be remembered for. He developed polio at the age of 39 as a father of 4. While they were vacationing at their lake house in Campobello Island, Canada, he went for a swim, like he did regularly, and when he got back to the house, his legs felt a little numb. They thought it would go away, but later found that he would not recover and would be paralyzed for the rest of his life from the waist down.

Ask yourself what you would have done if you became paralyzed at age 39. Hard to imagine isn’t it? Would you just give up?

He went on to become President of the United States during the worst economic cycle the nation had ever experienced; he lead the United States through WWII and held America together. He refused to let polio determine his life and control what he could and could not do.

The main point of this blog is that during the Great Depression, when families were starving and the poor were everywhere, he got together his people and told them something that was life-altering. He told them to go out into the community and meet with many of the poor, unfortunate, and homeless and to bring him back a report on the results. He told them that when they saw these people and the condition their lives are in, to treat them with respect; to realize in their heart, but by the grace of God that it could be their own family. He told them if anyone was caught mistreating these people, they would find themselves out of work, just like them.

If you have a moment, please read the paragraph above again and let that sink into your spirit of what a life-changing direction he gave to those who worked for him.

If we looked at others with this same frame of mind, it would do us well to remember this. In my own life, having no formal education and stuttering when I talk, I can tell you without question and without hesitation, but by the grace of God, that could be me and my family.

Think about where you are, where you live and what you have; my suggestion is to never forget how you got there and never take it for granted because like the people in the story above, but for the grace of God, that could be you. KT

What hangs in the balance of your life

Family, Life

I was listening to a message by Andy Stanley last week on the subject of the impact our decisions have on our family. I thought I would share a couple of my own points on the subject.

Think about your parents and the decisions they made that had an impact on your life. Is it safe to say that the financial decisions they made or didn’t make has affected your own life? It is probably true. The same question can be asked about their lifestyle, marriage, education, honesty, health, temper, language, etc. Parents often think that decisions they make will not have an impact on their children. For example, I came from a broken home where my parents divorced when I was about to start the 3rd grade. God picked up the pieces of all of our lives and it all worked out ok, but the point I am making is that the decisions our parents and grandparents made have an effect sometimes for generations.

You see, many criminals say that they did the crime because of their childhood. Well, that is hogwash. They did the crime because they wanted to do the crime. Plain and simple. That said, if they had a better home life and better example to follow growing up, their life may be much different. It would have probably changed how they made decisions.

Make no mistake, I am saying that we all get to choose our own life and we can’t blame our failure on our parents, but the life your parents lived does have an impact on how we process decisions.

Examples in our life can be good or bad, but both can be useful. I have a friend (several actually, ha) that has a terrible parent. I was talking to the child one day and I told the child that we can choose to use that parent’s example as the perfect example of what we don’t ever want to be. A bad example is as powerful as a good example to follow. See, we need to have good and bad examples in our lives so we know the difference.

During my high school senior year I left home, and I have been supporting myself ever since. I could have easily gone the bad route that impacts your life long term, but I had several good examples to follow that pulled me through the season. Those examples and the US Navy got me on the right path. Two of the best examples were my Mom and Gene (stepdad) and my wife’s parents. Between leaving home my senior year and joining the Navy, there were times when I didn’t have meals because I could not afford them. It always amazed me how Elaine’s mom seemed to know what was going on; she asked me many times to stay for dinner. She knew what was going on in my life, and she cared and loved me, which is why I love her so dearly today.

Back to the point, if the decisions your parents and grandparents made had an impact on your life, do you believe the decisions you and your spouse make will affect your children and grandchildren’s life? With absolutely certainty.

The examples you had growing up do not determine your life and the life you want to have for your children. The examples you want to set and the memories you want to leave is your choice and your choice alone. Don’t ever find yourself defending your actions because of what your family did. It is your choice.

Therefore, what hangs in the balance of your life is your family and the impact your decisions will have on them. Be careful and vigilant about the decisions you make because the results of those decisions go beyond you and beyond today. KT

Tune up

Career, Family, Life

As everyone knows, I love old muscle cars and have owned many over the years. I have also bought new cars, trucks and SUVs.

I don’t care how much money you spend and how nice the vehicle is, if you don’t do a checkup and or a tune up periodically, you will find yourself on the side of the road. No vehicle is built to last with no follow up attention.

Houses, retirement accounts, family relationships, businesses…they all need a checkup and refocus from time to time.

What am I saying here? I am saying that we all know and understand everything I have just said is true, but when it comes to our lives, we think that the tune up we got 10 years ago is all we need to do. If we step away from this, we all know in our hearts that we need to do a regular checkup from the neck up.

In business, one must make changes in his/her approach and business model if you want to stay in business long term. There are so many corporate examples to choose from, but I will just choose one. BlackBerry. In the early 2000s up until 2007, Blackberry owned and controlled 90% of the global smart phone market. Today, a BlackBerry is like a pager.

The BlackBerry shareholders owned private jets and homes all over the world and thought their business model was perfect and that no one could usurp their market share. Obviously, they were wrong. When Apple launched the iPhone in 2007, the BlackBerry folks said, it will never last, never be that big, and no one would leave the BlackBerry platform to switch to Apple. By the time Apple launched the iPhone 2, the momentum of BlackBerry changed and began a very long downward spiral.

Today, the shares of BlackBerry stock are trading at a fraction of what they were in 2005-2006. Why? BlackBerry forgot or ignored what its customers were saying and they lost one of the greatest markets of all time. Personally, I bought all the new BlackBerry phones as they came out was a diehard fan of the product. Then, someone showed me the iPhone, and I realized what you could do on an iPhone was 20x what you could do on a BlackBerry.

Whether we are looking at our business life, personal life or spiritual life we all need to take an assessment of where we are and where we want to go. I will promise you, if you are honest with yourself in all three areas, you know there are changes you need to make to stand through the test of time. You also know in your heart that if you keep doing things like you are doing them today, time and change will catch up with you and you will lose what you have.

A smart man once told me that what you compromise to keep, you will eventually lose. Think about that just a minute. If you compromise your health, your marriage, your business, etc., you are putting yourself at risk of losing it.

So, go talk to God about your spiritual life, kiss your spouse, and take a real inventory of the areas of your life that are important. Wash it, clean it, and tune it up so it will last. KT