Category Archives: Family

Recognizing the gift of today

Career, Family, Life

We get caught up in life and forget to recognize that one day, what we see today will be over. When you are in it, you sometimes take for granted the gift that today really is.

I was getting ready for work today and thinking about our company, office, people and my role within the company. Then the thought struck me that in 10 years from now it may all be gone. The magic, the people, the company may not even exist. I may even drive by the office building and long for the times that I am in today. Today will not last and a day will come when I will wish that I had today again. I want to say that again. Today will not last and a day will come when I will wish that I had today again.

It is much like the same feeling you get when you drive by homes where you used to live. In some cases it is the home where you grew up or the home you lived in when you just got married or the dorm room you had at college. It is all memories and some of those are good and you want to remember all the details and some of those are not so good and you want to forget.

A year or so ago I took a drive around to some of the homes where Elaine and I have lived since we have been married. While I was looking at the homes, I remembered the ages of my daughters and the activities of our life while living there and remembering some special moments that occurred there. I suppose that is what life is like in that we many times don’t recognize the beauty and gift until that period is over.

Look your surroundings, your family, your job, your age and take it all in and recognize the beautiful gift that today is. KT

What do you do when you have done all you can do?

Career, Family, Life

This is a serious subject so I will start with a silly example. I am too fat and I know I need to lose the weight. Therefore I know I have not done all I can do because it remains visible every morning in the mirror. ha. My point is there are some things and situations where we cannot say we have done all we can do but there are also other situations where you have done all you can do. The question is what do you do when you have done all you can do?

The list is long but several situations that come to mind. You have done all you can in your marriage, you have done all you can to change your husband. You have done all you can medically. You have done all you can to help your child. You have done all you can to get rid of anger, jealousy, strife, resentment yet it is still a part of you. You have done all you can to fix a relationship. You have done all you can to improve your job situation etc etc. Again, this list could go for several more pages.

The bible says that once you have done all you can do to stand, stand therefore. Pretty simple right? When you have done all you can, that is all you can do. If I was writing that passage of scripture I will add at the end, stand therefore in him. What I mean is to stand in his grace, his plan, his forgiveness, his favor, his anointing, his wisdom and his understanding. When you have done all you can, do what the bible says and just stand therefore and rest in knowing God is in charge.

As equally with answering this question I think you also have to answer the question, what I do not need to you when I have done all I can. That answer is to give up. You don’t give up and you don’t go out and make some foolish decisions just because you can. You stay firm and stand firm. I am not advocating that a spouse should never leave a marriage. There are some situations that you cannot fix. What I am mainly talking about is the restlessness that comes during the period between doing all you can do and seeing the results.

So when you have done all you can do, I say, stand up (literally and metaphorically) and poke your chest out and say, By God I am here and I am not going anywhere. KT

Going to Mama’s house

Family, Life

Tomorrow we are driving to Virginia to see my mom and dad. What a gift.

It seems like yesterday when they were the age I am now and our children were young like our grandchildren are now. A lot of living has happened in these past 25 years and I am sure there were times when my parents wanted me to hurry up and get older. Being parents with small children is a fantastic and great season of life but it is also stressful juggling all the challenges of being young working parents.

What my point? It is that life moves so quickly that you look up one day and 10 years have passed and you struggle remembering where it went. The second point is that my mother and dad are still alive and in good health and at 57 years old, I still get to go to my parent’s house and hug their necks and tell them I love them. The third point is I know there will be a fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy dinner there somewhere. Ha.

Be present and focus on the moments of your life and capture and preserve the precious memories because one day, the memories will be all you have left. KT

Last look

Career, Family, Life

In the movie Mr. Holland’s Opus, Richard Dreyfuss had been a band teacher for some 30-35 years in the same band room at the same high school. The movie has him being downsized after a long career. On his last day he was cleaning out all his personal effects and putting it all in boxes. After all the boxes had been packed and carried to the car he is leaving his band room for the last time. It shows him walking to the door and reaching to turn off the light and he pauses and looks back at the band room with what I call the “last look.” He is remembering all the times and all the memories of his life that were captured in that room. It is that last look that I want to talk about.

When I think of retiring, its scares me. I mean it really scares me. The idea that one day I will have aged beyond being effective is an idea that is very humbling. We all know that day is coming and there isn’t any way to go around it. One day it will be that day. I have watched many older folks in my line of work force themselves to stay longer than they are effective and I refuse to be one of those people.

This last week I was going into a presentation in Dallas and had some time before the meeting began so I was sitting there drinking some coffee and thinking about these things. All the people in the office were early 20’s to late 30’s. As I watched them all go about their work I knew that one day, it won’t be me in that meeting. It will be the generation behind mine.

A smart young lady (my daughter) once told me that before you retire from the main thing, you need to have already started the next thing. She said don’t wait till you leave one phase to begin the next phase. Pretty smart right?

A few weeks ago we sold our lake house that we have owned for 13 years. We bought the house when my oldest daughter (now 32) was a freshman in college and our youngest daughter (now 28) was still in high school. There were many many lake trips, dinners, fireside chats, events and even a few hammerhead boys my daughters brought to the lake. All those events formed our memories at that house. All those memories are precious to me as I look at the pictures that captured the moments through the years. When we sold the house and moved all the stuff out, I did one “last look” at the inside of the house where we have all good memories.

So what am I saying here? Don’t wait till the “Last Look” to start on the next venture of your life because it will keep you alive, alert, fresh and full of hope for the future. KT

Being good at something

Family, Life

In life I think we all need something that we are good at. You don’t have to be the founder of the world to know in your heart that you are good at something. It could be you care for others, you help others, you give to others, you sing, you write, you are good at your work, your yard is the best in the neighborhood, you speak well, you teach well and the list could go on for page after page.

I was thinking about this very thing this week before a meeting. For some reason I love selling hotels and have been doing an ok job at it for 25 years. There are so many areas of my life where I am not so good like skiing, basketball, speaking, writing, and teaching and of course that list could also go on for page after page.

While I was sitting there before that meeting, I wondered what it would be like to be to any specialty what Michael Jordan was to basketball, Roger Federer is to Tennis, Bill Gates is to technology, Billy Graham was to the gospel, Jack Nicklaus was to Golf, Steve Jobs was to inventions, Frankie Valli was to music, Warren Buffett is to investing, and Hershel Walker was to UGA football? I am talking about being the “Market Maker” at a specialty that becomes the bench mark for everyone else. In all the above examples, these people came on the scene and changed the future of their specialty. I think of Roger Bannister when he broke the 4 minute mile in 1954. Before him it was not thought possible because many had tried and no one had succeeded in breaking the 4 minute mark. Here is the interesting part, within one year after Roger Bannister broke the 4 min record, there were 24 other runners that broke the 4 min mark. Sometimes we just need to see someone else prove it can be done.

These people listed above are in such rare company because through history there are only a very few that ever come along. Being the best at something should never be our goal. I think our goal should be being the best WE can be at something. That’s really all you can do. Once you have done your best, that is all there is. I think that should be our objective. It is not inventing something that will change the world, rather it could be you are a good listener and friend to others or you excel at your job. Whatever it is, I believe a sense of accomplishment happens when you try your best and become proficient at something.

The term “one thing” is a very common theme through religion and history. I think it can also apply to being good at something. Pick one thing and make up your mind that you will do the best you can. While I don’t this to be true, I don’t know of an athlete that is the very best in two sports. Many gifted athletes are good in many sports but they usually are only great at one. All we need is the one thing that we are good at that challenges us to really try. It’s the really trying part that I believe everyone needs to have in their life. So go be good at something. KT