The definition of true wealth is not just money as the world would have you believe. If you can’t enjoy it and you can’t find peace, all the money in the world will not solve your problem. I have a little card in my briefcase that one of my daughters gave me at least 15 years ago with a scripture that has the definition of true wealth. I often look at that card to remind myself of how I need to think about money, time, things and family. The scripture is:

Ecclesiastes 5:19 (NIV) ^‘” Moreover, when God gives someone wealth and possessions, and the ability to enjoy them, to accept their lot and be happy in their toil—this is a gift of God.”

If you can’t find peace with what you currently have, it is probably a good sign that if you had more, you still couldn’t find peace. It is not about having money or not having money, it is about living in the moment where you are. It is about finding some contentment, joy and peace where you are today. You should be careful if you have ever said to yourself, when I get that job, have that house, marry that person, drive that car etc., then I will be happy. What you just described is the destination not the journey. There are people the world over that never allowed themselves to be happy, satisfied and at peace because they were always looking for more in life and completely missed what they currently have and who they currently have.

Ask anyone in their late 50’s to late 60’s what they most regret in life. I will assure that no one says, I wished I had spent more time at the office. No, they always speak about time spent with their family. Let us all choose well and choose life today and embrace the words of Apostle Paul in Philippians; 4:11, “for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” KT

This morning I met a client at his office in what was expected to be a 20-minute meeting. It turned into an hour and a half. We talked about life and family more than business. It has always seemed to me that the more you get to know the client on a personal level, the better the relationship. That is true in business as well as personal life. That said, people can always tell if you are in it just to sell something but for me that has never been an issue. I truly enjoy knowing people on a personal level with or without the business component.

As we were talking, the three most important things in his office were hand drawings his three children made for him when they were young. Those three drawings were the only items framed on the wall. We talked about giving, charities and our mutual love for our families. I must think that because of the bond we developed personally there may be some business opportunities. If not, that is ok as well.

Last week I visited one of my oldest friends who is also a client. We have known each other for 29 years and his family has been in my home and our family has been in his. We know each other’s family, history children and have a great respect for each other. He is also one of three people in my life that I could call on to help if I was ever in need and vice versa.

Today when I got back to my office I looked around to see what represents the most important things to me. It’s the pictures of my family. There are 16 pictures that represent the greatest loves in my life. I have pictures of my daughters when they were little going all the way up through now. There are pictures of my wife, son in-laws and my granddaughters. When I looked around, I realized if someone came in that didn’t know me, they would quickly understand what is important to me. KT

PS,,,,,, I also have diecast models of my three dream cars. ha

In life people have good examples to emulate and help guide their life and unfortunately many also have bad examples. I have always wanted to give our children good examples to follow and hopefully my wife and I accomplished this a little.

My parents separated when I was in the 3^rd grade and both of my parents remarried within several years thereafter. While there could be some debate regarding the issue, I can tell you that in my parent’s case it was the right decision to make. My mother married one of the greatest men I have ever known and has been my dad from the first day. He and my mom always set the example of what a real family should be like which included safety, love, respect, thoughtfulness and honesty. They were my good example.

My dad remarried a woman and the life they had together set the example for me of what I never wanted my life to be. The opposite of the positive attributes I mentioned in the above paragraph were true for my father and stepmother. As soon as I graduated high school, I joined the Navy and never allowed myself to be influenced by them again. In high school I was the president of my senior class and caption of the football team but could never be good enough to earn their love. They never came to one of my games or school events and said by their actions how unimportant I was in their life.

Last week I was counseling with a young man in his 20’s with a similar family situation. I told him to cherish both the good examples and bad examples in his life because one shows you what you want and the other shows you want you don’t want. Both are equally as powerful and impactful to your life. I told this young man that when I left for the Navy, I knew I could never earn my dad’s or stepmother’s love, so I closed that door in my heart and stopped trying to achieve something I knew I was never going accomplish. I told this young man how I was always kind and respectful and often visited but I never allowed myself to open that door to my heart again.

Sometimes there are people in our lives that we just need to walk away from and gently close a door to our heart that we never allow to open again. Then there are the cases like my mom and stepdad where you cherish the relationship and do everything you can to keep it fresh in your life.

With the young man I was counseling, I don’t know if my story had an impact for him or not, but he did tell me several days later that he closed that door in his life and chose (he close) to start being the man he was meant to be instead of living his life influenced by his bad examples. KT

This morning as I was driving to work, and I somehow hit a button that started playing songs that I had downloaded on my phone. My favorite music is from the late 60’s to early 70’s like Three Dog Night, Creedence Clearwater Revival (CCR), Doobie Brothers, Lynyrd Skynyrd etc. I also have some old gospel hymns that I have downloaded over the years. This morning, I guess that was what I was intended to hear.

The song that came on this morning was a gospel song that the Cathedral Quartet had recorded back in late 80’s called, Step into The Water.  Over the years, there are many new Christian groups and newer Christian songs, but for me, it’s the old gospel hymns that touch my heart. Years ago, I started reading the history of some of the old Baptist hymns and found that many times the songs were written in difficult times and many were written due the author’s need to hear the gospel through song. One such song is “It is well with my soul.” It was written in 1873 after the author had just lost his whole family when the ship they were on sank. There is something humbling and endearing when after 146 years you hear a song that was penned by a man struggling to make sense of the greatest lose a human can endure.

It is the old hymns that reach a part of me that recognizes there is a God and he does exist.

One of most impressionable moments in my memory was when my daughters were little, and we had been invited to attend a several day event at Ridgecrest in the Black Hill mountains of North Carolina. The first night we went to service, there was probably two thousand people in attendance. The song leader stood up and led the congregation in an acapella version of the old gospel hymn, Amazing Grace. There have not been many times in my life that I felt the presence of God stronger than at that moment. KT