For Father’s Day this year, my youngest daughter wrote a list of things she has heard me say or that she has learned from me. When I read the list, I must have gotten some dust in my eyes because I had to wipe a tear away. One of the things she wrote was “always accept blame when it is your fault.”

Years before I started in the hotel business, I was in the restaurant business and ran several Wendy’s for an investment group. I remember one time that we had had a terrible month and sales were down and expenses were up, and all the partners wanted to meet with me. The purpose of the meeting was probably to give me a whipping over the bad month and probably threaten to fire me over it.

Some people love to pass the blame to other people or other influences when something goes wrong. So, I walked into that meeting and all the partners looked like they were ready to take me out and flog me in the street. I remember I ask to talk first in the meeting, and they agreed. I began by taking all the blame because behind all the reasons, it really was my fault. My lack of leadership that month was the reason. So, I accepted all the blame and them moved on to how I was going to correct the problem.

I watched as the steam faded out of the partner’s faces and replaced with acceptance of the solutions. I have zero doubt that had I went in that room and named all the things and other people to blame that I would have found myself out of a job that afternoon. My acceptance of the blame wasn’t superficial. It really was my fault and I guess they recognized the honesty with which I accepted it.

The bible says in Proverbs 15:1, “a soft-spoken word turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” That is a pretty good verse to live by when something goes wrong and everyone is looking for who to blame. KT

There is no such thing as luck, but if there was, it is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. it is amazing that the harder you work at something, the better you get at it. We all know people that talk about luck like it were a real thing but in truth, there is no such thing.

Think of your life in terms of two graph lines. Ability and opportunity. In an average person’s life, I am told those two graph lines cross 4-6 times in a person’s life. What it means is that several times in a person’s life, the ability you have lines up with an opportunity to use that ability. The issue is what the person does when his/her two graph lines cross. Do they take the opportunity or not? Fear, inferiority and insecurity probably account for most of the missed opportunities in life.

Take my business for example. We have people that handle the face to face well but not the phone. We have great writers with incredible analytical skill but no personality.  Then we have people that do fantastic on the phone but then bomb when they get face to face. Then you have people like me that don’t do any of it well but just too dense to know better. I cannot tell you the number of people I have met that have such a great presence about them when they speak but because of fear, they never allow themselves to become what they were meant to be. For these people, the years get by and the opportunities to use their abilities become less and less and their life becomes one of regret that they missed the opportunities in their life. They are ones that grow old with the music still in them.

I have often said that the most important ability is availability. The people that do great things are the ones who don’t care what other people think about them and have the courage to try. I stutter so if I had let other people’s opinion of me determine my life, I would have a job today that didn’t require me to talk to anyone. I have a client and dear friend, (SM for short,) who said the first time he talked to me on the phone, he couldn’t understand most of what I said (makes me laugh thinking about it) but he said he picked out three words he understood and answered based on those words. SM and I became like brothers and have been dear friends for 25 years and we have transacted many many times together on hotels. It all started with that first phone call that I was not afraid to make.

There is no luck involved in life. There is preparation and willingness to try and the more you try it is amazing how much you accomplish. In life there is rarely a euphoric life altering moment that defines your future. Most of time the opportunities come when you just lace up your boots and put one foot in front of the other and just don’t stop. KT

Wouldn’t it be great if you could stand at the entrance of a path/ trail and see all the way to the end? You could then know if you want to take that path. Unfortunately, that is not how life works. Every decision we make leads to a result and every path we take leads to a destination. Life would be so much easier if we could see the result before we decided to take a certain path. Every path we take leads somewhere and the decision we all must make is; do we want to be at that somewhere.

We all know the wrong paths a person could take; cheating, drugs, sex, infidelity, lies, stealing, alcohol and the list could be quite long. The problem with entrances to a path is they always look good and inviting at the beginning. If you can, read that last sentence again.

By way of example, say a person is at a crossroads in life. One path looks hard and the other path looks easy. Let’s say the easy path is a little bit of drugs and a little bit of alcohol; At the entrance of that path it looks like so much fun and the person can envision a long life of freedom and joy. Everybody else is doing it so it must be ok, right?

What you cannot see at the entrance of that path, is the destruction, devastation and possibly death. See, all that is hidden from you behind the pretty entrance. The real result is only revealed once you start down that path and many times you don’t even know it until you are too far to turn back.

We as adults know (if we are honest) how the story ends for most paths. Unfortunately, we fool ourselves into believing it will be fun. If you are ever out with a bunch of guys and one of them says “watch this,” there is pretty good chance it will not turn out as expected.

So, if you are standing at the entrance of a path (change in your life) put on your spiritual infrared goggles and humble yourself and ask God to tell you which way to go. KT