I want to speak to you spiritually for a moment. Many people cannot forgive themselves for past event(s) or period of time in their life. It keeps them from moving on in life. The spiritual part is that if Satan can keep you living in the past, he doesn’t have to worry about you in the present.
The hardest forgiveness is not when you forgive someone else; it is when you attempt to forgive yourself. If an event or a period of time in your life keeps you from living your life now, you must make a decision.
A pastor I listen to quite often tells the story of a married woman that needed some counseling. They met and she started to tell him all her history about who did what to her, what was said, who hurt her, etc. She then told him all the wrong things that she was consumed with guilt over. When she finished, she thought he would give her a hug, tell her God loves her, tell her he would pray for her, and tell her that everything would be all right. That is what everyone said to her when she told her story before.
The pastor looked at her and asked her to write down a date and time she was going to “decide” to quit letting her past control her. He asked will it be 6 months, two weeks, 5 days or today? He asks her how long do you want to cry over the past. He said until that date and time, you can cry your eyes out and lay on the floor and kick the heels off your shoes. What he said shocked her so badly that it made her mad and she proceeded to tell him how bad a counselor he was and yada, yada, yada. He just sat there and let her vent. Somewhere in her venting she grasped what he was trying to tell her. The answer to her past was HER decision on how long SHE would let it control her. Once what he had said began to penetrate her spirit, she saw the way through all the living in the past.
Sometimes you have to draw a line in the sand and tell Satan this is the line and that you are not going beyond that point. It is a decision that frees you from your past, unlike anything else you could ever do. Forgiving yourself is one of the hardest things to do, but it is a “must-do” action that many people need. KT