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Courage is the door that can only be opened from the inside

You cannot open the door of courage for someone else. They can only open that door themselves.

Many decisions in life are the same way. Take for example, self-esteem, confidence, boldness, determination, willingness etc. Other people can certainly help advance those thoughts/ decisions but in the end, the only person that can truly open those doors is you. See, one of the greatest powers in the human spirit is the power to decide. If you have ever had children, every parent knows this to be true. You can push, prod, influence and even sometimes demand, but ultimately it is the child’s decision.

Years ago, I read about a great counselor whose sole focus when counseling someone was to let the person think it was his/her decision. He would lead, guide, and suggest in the hopes that the person would make the decision to change and believe it was their decision. Pretty good stuff, right?

Most everything we do that is bad for us, all starts with a decision. I made one of those the other day when I ate two pieces of cake. Ha. No one lead me to do it, no one influenced me to do it, no one prodded me to do it. No siree, it was a decision I made. I am of course using a silly example like eating cake as a metaphor for the other serious decisions we make in life.

Here is the incontrovertible truth, the only person that can make a change in your life, is you. KT  

The second question asked

In the business world, when a person dies, the first question is how and why. The second question is who will we get to replace them? The family members of the person that has passed away never ask that second question. The spouse, children, brothers, sisters, parents never ask who will replace them because they will grieve and remember for the rest of their lives.

I was having this discussion with a high-level executive recently and he was laboring under the idea that the business could not go on without him. I gave him three examples; Earlier this year one of the most loved CEOs in the country died and within a month, the company’s stock was up 20%. All his employees and executive team just moved on. Another very close friend of mine died last June, and it wasn’t long before his staff was cleaning out his office. The best example was President FDR. To my knowledge he was the only president to ever serve three terms and was probably the most beloved president besides Lincoln.

What a lot of people don’t remember was that FDR died in April 1945, but it was his vice president Harry Truman, that 120 days later (August 1945) saved America by making the decision to drop the two atomic bombs. That ended the war with Japan and the war in Europe with Germany finally ended the next month in September even though Germany had surrendered that May. Harry Truman’s decisions saved thousands of American lives and years of two wars that had no end. So, as beloved as FDR was, it was his vice president Harry Truman that stepped in when no one thought FDR could be replaced and saved America.

My point to my friend was this; corporate America may grieve a day, a week or maybe even a month but then they move on. The pictures on your refrigerator are of the people that will carry your memory with them. Therefore, be careful to which group you give your attention and your love to.  KT

Making your mark on the world

Every person wants to make their mark on the world and be remembered for doing something good. This is true for men and women and if a couple is married, they want to leave an impression for their family lineage. It may be deep in your soul, but it is there in all of us.

To many, they spent their entire life searching for significance to make their mark on the world. We all want to be remembered as making a contribution to the world and it is not about money, houses, estates, and fame. It is about something much deeper.

Nancy Hanks Lincoln had no idea her tall strapping son would go on to save America. She just did what any other parent does. She believed in her son and raised him knowing right from wrong and gave him a self confidence and belief in himself to meet the world head on. Her son Abraham, when on to the Presidency of the United States. So, ask yourself, which was more important to her mark on life, the financial things, or her son. Of course, It was her son because she not only impacted Abraham’s life but countless generations that followed.

The greatest mark that Elaine and I will leave on this world is our two daughters. They are both incredible women who are not only beautiful, but soul deep leaders, mothers, wives, and givers. See, our two daughters will teach their children (our grandchildren) and the grandchildren will teach their children and it will go on for generations. The impact Elaine and I have will be found in the lives of our daughters and their lineage. So, the greatest mark we as a husband and wife could ever make on this world has already been made.

Pour the best you have into your children. The money, financial holdings and fame will quickly fade away but the example you set will last for generations. Who knows what 100 years from now will look like and where our lineage will be and what they will accomplish but it all starts with the here and now.

Merry Christmas. KT

Confidence is the core of charisma

True charisma is not defined as some flashy person with a big smile. True charisma is all in the eyes that beam with intellect, confidence, honesty, and someone who you trust.

I have been to many hotel investors conferences and I love to watch people. The guys with the tight suit that bulges when buttoned, pants that hit about ankle height, pointy toed shoes, big smile and about a pound of hair gel are not the ones you want to zero in on. When you meet the real leaders, you will see that light in their eyes and that quiet confidence that lets you know someone is home.

Confidence is the core to charisma. True charisma is infectious and engaging and I want to address that. Life is full of momentum changes just like a ballgame. When confidence is low you just need to keep going until it returns. It never returns all the time, so it is important to cherish those swings.

A really simple, yet important prayer is, “lord, I need to find my way again. I lay my life in your hands for where you want me and what you want me to do. I ask these things in faith and receive them even before I end this prayer. Thank you, Lord,” When you end that prayer, just make the decision in your heart that you have God on your side and that will give you a renewed confidence toward your future. He tells us in his word, “come to me and I will not turn you away” Merry Christmas. KT