Category Archives: Family

Judgmental people

Family, Life

Have you ever met someone that never gives anyone anything and never helps someone in need because their excuse is always, “they are in that situation by choice.” or “they should have known better.” or my favorite, “if I give them money they will just buy drugs or alcohol with it.”

What most of these type people have in common is  they have never been in need. There is a hole in their heart they can’t seem to ever fill.

Two memories that are burned into my heart both involved my two daughters when they were young. They both were tender with a heart to give and to help.

When my oldest daughter was in elementary school, there was a little girl in her class that my daughter (even though she was young) knew she needed some clothes. We went and bought some clothes for the little girl and she wrapped them for Christmas for the little girl and we took the gift over to the little girl’s apartment where she lived. I watched as my baby gave another person’s baby some clothes for Christmas. She did this with no expectation for anything in return. She just wanted to help the little girl. When we left, I didn’t let my daughter see my tears but that act of kindness left a forever impression on my life. My oldest daughter to this day has the same loving and giving spirit as she did that day for that little girl in that small apartment.

When my youngest daughter was dating, she came home one night crying. She told us about her and her date sitting at a restaurant when a little girl about nine years old came up to their table and ask for enough money to get on the bus. My daughter’s date didn’t act quite right (which is probably why she broke up with him) and only gave the little girl a dollar or two. By the time my daughter got home she was crying over that little girl and wanted to go back to the area and see if we could find her and help her. Yes, we got in the car and went back up there to find her. We didn’t find the little girl that night but going the extra mile was what my daughter needed. I have no doubt if we had found that little girl, she would probably have come home with us that night. Like the first story, my youngest daughter didn’t see the tears in my eyes on the way home but that moment, like the first story, left a forever impression on my life and what it really means to help others. My youngest daughter, like my oldest daughter to this day has the same loving and giving spirit as she did that night for that little girl.

You can think what you want, but I believe God sees your heart and fully knows who you really are. When you show kindness to those in need, he is watching. Don’t let God catch you being one of the people described in the first paragraph. The truth is, the bible in Matthew 7: 1-2, starts with the words, ‘Judge not, that ye be not judged’ and then read verse 2 (on your own.) If that doesn’t drive home my point today, I will pray for you. KT

If what you are doing isn’t working, try doing the opposite

Career, Family

Years ago, my dad I were at his house working on my 64 Impala Super Sport and had taken the hood and hinges off in the process. When we went to put the hinges and hood back on, I learned one of the best lessons I have ever known.

My dad was an aircraft jet mechanic with Eastern Airlines. To say he was a mechanic is almost an understatement. We bolted on the hinges and the hood but couldn’t get it to go all the way down. We knew the hinges were on the correct way so we adjusted them all the way up and then all the way down but could not get the hood to close correctly. My brother Mark, who is also a certified mechanic had stopped by while this was going on. He looked at what we were doing and said something that day that has stayed with me.

He said, “if what you are doing isn’t working, try doing the opposite.” We said well, ok, and took the hinges off and turned them upside down even though they looked wrong. We bolted the hood on, and it closed as smooth and perfect as you could wish for.

In life, finances, raising children, exercise, relationships, work etc. sometimes (not every time of course) if you are having trouble making something work, take a step back and try it differently. Like the story above about my car, it may surprise you what can happen. KT

Nothing new under the sun

Career, Family, Life

Ecclesiastes was written in 250 BC by Solomon who was the wisest and most wealthy person that has ever lived. In verse 1:9 it says; “What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again, there is nothing new under the sun.”

Have you ever seen a house with rust color carpet or harvest gold fixtures from 1970 that now is back in style? Take cloths designs that circle back around every 20-30 years or the retro house designs and mid-century modern furniture that is now all the rage. The list could go on for pages. The point is to just keep everything because it may eventually come back in style. ha

With COVID, many families in society stepped back into a simpler lifestyle. More time with the children, gardens, walks, alone time, reading more, family time and most of all spending far less time on the phone and internet. Actually, talking to each other. These are just a few examples that echo what Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes.

In many commercial real estate segments and markets, COVID has caused many commercial investments like hotels, office, retail etc. to go back to the performance levels of the 1990’s. Many markets like New York and Chicago have stepped back into the crime history last seen in the 1980’s where people were afraid to walk down the street.

The point of the scripture is that there is really nothing new that is every truly new. It might be new how you access it but take social media as example, people are doing the same things they have done for 100 years, they just have the internet platform to talk about. It seems new but it is still old stuff. Take Amazon as example, the mail order concept it not new. Sears and Montgomery Ward started doing mail order 100 years ago. Amazon just does it better and faster than Sears did it, but the idea is not new.

People basically have the same feelings, emotions, wants desires, needs as they have had since creation and will continue to have for the future. I was talking with this hotel guy recently that wants to develop a mid-century hotel concept where guests can experience what it was like in 1960. No internet, no 60-inch plasma TV. Just a bed, pleasant people, good food, a land line phone and a swimming pool. Ha I believe I would like to go there for a few days and leave the rapid life pace behind.

Remember, hang on to those bell bottom pants, original Levi’s and that double-knit shirt.

Yorkie Dogs

Family, Life

Yorkies are probably the cutest, funny, liveliest and hardest to train of all dog breeds. You can’t get mad them because they look at you with those little soft eyes and they pretty much get a pass.

We have a little nine-month-old female Yorkie and she thinks she is the boss. Our little fat Sheltie just lets her run all over him. Literally. She climbs on his back like a jungle gym. Someone ask me the other day if she was house trained and I said sure, she only poops in the house.

Our first Yorkie (passed away in 2012) was a male and Elaine loved that dog like a dog hasn’t ever been loved. She would coddle that rascal every evening and the little mutt would sleep with us up next to Elaine. The funny thing was that Elaine’s favorite room in our house is the formal dining room and I kid you not, that little dog would poop under her dining room table almost every day like it was gift he left just for her. Ha. The worst scolding, he ever got didn’t even faze him because he knew he wasn’t really in trouble.

So now to the new female puppy, Sophie. My favorite room in the house is my home office and guess where she wants to poop? You guessed it, my office!

Therefore, if you want a dog that you can’t help but love and will alert you if the wind blows and one that you can’t ever fully train, get a Yorkie. KT

Rowing in the same direction

Family, Life

I have never been on a rowing team, but I am fascinated by how it works. There are many similarities in rowing to life, work, marriage and relationships.

In a rowing team there is only one person (coxswain) who can see the goal line, the competition and direct the boat (scull) to the destination. All the rowers have their back turned away from the goal and focus solely on the instructions from the coxswain. Even though the coxswain never picks up an oar, he or she is the most important person in the boat and usually the races are won or lost depending how aware and adaptive the coxswain is and how they lead the crew.

In a rowing crew there are times when they row light (half pressure) and times when they give it their all (power 10.) One would think the rowers just give it their all straight off the starting line but that is not correct. They must get in a rhythm, and it doesn’t matter if they have been rowing together for a year. Evert race must get in its own rhythm, or it will veer off course. It is the coxswain’s main objective to get the crew in sync before they start pulling hard.

Work, life, marriage, relationships all have similar requirements. Imagine if a college rowing team were all giving instructions and commands at the same time. It would be a disaster. Such as in life, very few things are more smooth and sweeter than a couple, family or a team pulling together at the same speed and in the same direction. The boat (your life) will glide soother and straighter if there is an agreement on the same goal and moving in the same direction. Everyone doesn’t have to be the boss (coxswain) because everyone gets the same gold medal if they win.

So, in life, it is important to be with people who all are rowing with the same goal in mind and in the same direction. KT