What you think you want can many times not turn out like you thought it would. Think about how many marriages, families, homes, investments, churches, friends etc. have been destroyed because one person thought they wanted something new or different and when they got it, it didn’t turn out like they imagined it would.
We all know what the serious issues are (drugs, alcohol, over-eating, over-spending, lies, deception, fraud, clothes, cars, houses etc. etc.) but I will use a very benign example to get the point across. I love cars and if I had the money in the bank today for all the bad car decisions I have made, I could afford to send all of you to Paris for vacation. Ha. See, I bought those cars because I wanted them. There were of course reasons why (I told myself) but the real deal was I just wanted them. As a point of record, a few years ago I sat down and listed all the cars, SUVs and trucks I have owned and at last count, it was 82. See what I mean?
When we want something, our brains have a built in “reasoning maker” that if you are not careful will arm you with all kinds of reasons for the change you want. When we rip the Formica back and look at the real reason, many times we find it is just what we want. When we see something we want, our brains play out a video with us in it, of how we will feel when we get it.
There is not really a cure for this behavior other than life experience. Simply put, the older you get the more videos you have in storage. When faced today with a similar “want” you can go back and play the old videos of what happened last time. Ha. KT
Lonnie Bell is my uncle and he is greatly loved by all those around him, his family, his friends and me. He received a medical diagnosis lately that almost made me tear up. He is one of the sweetest, most compassionate and gentle men I have ever known and has always been an example for me to follow.
There are three children in my mother’s family. My mother, Uncle Rayburn (passed away) and Uncle Lonnie. All that side of my family were farmers and my grand parents (their parents) always farmed which meant the husband and wife both worked in the fields. My mother told me something today I did not know. When Lonnie was born, he had a heart defect and couldn’t lay down to sleep when he was a newborn baby. My grand parents took turns every night holding him upright on their shoulder so he could sleep. My mother is five and half years older than Lonnie and when my grand parents had to work in the fields, she (at 5-6 years old) took care of Lonnie.
This all happened just after the great depression when families were barely getting by. Add to that a sick child and a young child (my mother) as a care giver and you can get the idea of what life was like. Uncle Lonnie grew up like most children and his heart condition was finally diagnosed when we he was in his early 30’s and had open heart surgery in the early 70’s that saved his life.
When you think about what hard living looks like, it would do us all good to think about how life was two generations ago. That generation of people not only saved America in WWII and the Korean war but showed us all what actual resiliency, honestly and Integrity looked like. You are in my prayers uncle Lonnie. KT
The bible says, ‘” where your money is, there will your heart be also.”
This statement is so incredibly true, and it doesn’t matter if you agree with it or not. It is literally a fact of life.
In 2006 I started a little investment company while I was still working for a larger brokerage house selling hotels. The little investment company was supposed to provide a little extra income and help me diversify. What I noticed very quickly was that I started thinking more and more about the little investment company instead of where my focus should have been. Before long (1 year) it took more and more of my time, energy, and thought. Basically, it stole my heart away from the large company I was with. See, it was where my money was invested and before long it had my heart also.
Take anyone that invests in stocks. They began casually watching the stock they are invested in and before long they have an app and an alert to notify them whenever the stock moves. They start looking at the stock several times every hour and It quietly steals their attention and their heart
Whether or not you believe it is true or whether you accept it, you should understand it and be aware of it. What I mean is to be careful where you put money or invest money because it has the risk of stealing your heart. It also can cause one of two emotions. Joy or anxiety. If the investment where your money is goes well, it can result in satisfaction, joy and a feeling of accomplishment. The problem is, if it doesn’t go well, it can result in stress, anxiety, lack of sleep and loss of joy. This why I say to be careful.
Finally, in Proverbs 4:7 the bible says, “above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” KT
Distractions can often be well,,,,, distractions to your daily plan. They can come in many forms from small children to teenage children, phone calls, unwanted emails, your spouse doing something, noises, neighbors, package delivery and the list could go on and on.
Someone said to me recently, “there are so many distractions now but one day, I won’t have distractions and will wish I had them back.” What a profound statement for a young person to say. This person realized that while distractions are maybe a little irritating now, they are also the gift of life around them today. It lets them know they are alive.
There will come a time when there are limited or no distractions. It is called old age. No more deliveries, no one needing your opinion, the house is quiet, the phone isn’t ringing and there is no one wanting your time. When you are young and the distractions surround you, just be thankful (as hard as it may be) that you have them. KT
Most people spent today either repairing the mistakes they made yesterday or preparing for what they will do tomorrow. The problem is they forget about what needs doing today. Today is a gift and its powerful because yesterday is a memory and tomorrow may not come. When you get down to it in life, today, is really all we have. Right now, is really all we have because we don’t even know for sure we will even be alive tonight.
I have these cards that I write my things-to-do list on and I have been using these cards since 1990. I order them along with a yearly planner pad that covers each week of the year. At home in my office I have 30 years of these planner pads and I could tell you with with some level of certainly where I was and possibly what I was doing on any give day since 1990.
On the daily cards, I write out all the things I want to do that day and then go back and number them in priority of importance. Many days I barely get half of the things accomplished and then move the unfinished items over to the next day. I really try to manage myself to stay on track and do what is the most important first and not just what is easiest to check off.
It is human nature to subconsciously want to save the harder things till tomorrow and do the easier things today. It takes real resolve to tackle the hard things today instead of putting them off till another day.
Today is a gift and tomorrow while hoped for, is not promised. Any leadership book you read will speak about the importance of today and being your best today and using your time today in the most efficient manner. Whatever you do (work, play, family) do it with all you have. Listen to your children and focus on their little faces while they talk to you. Let them know you are listening. When your spouse talks, listen and let them know you understand. When you work, do it so everyone around you respects you and when you go home at night, turn that cell phone off and be there in that moment even if it is just hanging out with your family. When the good lord calls you home, trust me when I tell you, it will be the moments with your family you will remember last. It won’t be that client dinner or that work proposal. No, it will be those moments when you are one on one with your child reading them a bedtime story or watching a movie with your spouse.
Use today for what it was meant for. Being there. KT