I received these from one of our pastors and wanted to pass them on.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.  Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.The little girl said, ‘When I get to heaven, I will ask Jonah’.  The teacher asked, ‘What if Jonah went to hell?’  The little girl replied, ‘Then you ask him’

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note and posted on the apple tray: ‘Take only ONE. God is watching.’Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.A child had written a note, ‘Take all you want. God is watching the apples